I always was an excellent student. “A” grades in every subject, at any level of school. But since high school, high school performance had to be related with lack of sleep, use of (mild, legal) stimulats, nicotine, caffeine, but then I discovered pemoline in university days. At the same time, just like Sherlock holmes who used cocaine when he was looking for misteries to solve andthen stayed clean when solving them, and then again he used morphine after the problem was solved, I became addicted to several drugs, either street drugs or prescription ones. I stopped and became fully clean and sober after 4 years of activeaddiction, I stayed clean for 12 years, then my life presented me challenges too hard to face: divorce, loss of money, depression, exploitation and brainwashing by a pseudo-psychotherapic cult. I started being treated by a psychiatrist, he gave me fluoxetine, then venlafaxine, then reboxetine (all of them together) because my depression was severly damaging my relationships and my work. Im those months I also hadashort (3-4 months) relapse in the use of heroin, which was resolved with a methadone maintenance program.
None the less, all the SSRI and the SNRI caused a switch in my brain:
After 2 years of depression treatment the bipolar disorder came out… I had a mixed episode, angry, irritable, verbally abusive, sleeping 2-3 hours per night and strongly convinced that no onecouldunderstand me, help me or give proper advice: everyone seemed stupid to me! I tried to committ suicide, quite seriously, (I won’t explain what I ingested not to suggest anything).
They started therapy with strong doses of sodium valproate (1500mg/die), then they eliminated it because it wastoxic for myliver. I’m currently on quetiapine (175mg/die) and I’m happy with it. I can do my job with a new strong awareness of what happens in a bipolar mind. I obviously work under strict supervision, but I believe we shoul make astudy on the effectiveness of therapist who had (and positively solved) a mental disease or problem:
Strength or weakness?
I wish further resarch will address this, but not on students… on valid professionals who see their disease as a plus or as a minus.
Carlo Fornesi
This post was submitted by Dr. Carlo Fornesi.

















